Awed by the series Sex And The City and having nothing better to do at 5 in the a.m. at a place like home, all I can dream about is being a Carrie Bradshaw, a Charlotte York , a Miranda Hobbes or a Samantha Jones (Samantha? Seriously? well, that’s the exact reaction I was aiming for )
Well before I begin, here’s a short disclaimer. I’m not here to write a review on the series SATC ( and in that case, it’d be the worst review ever ) . Nor do I believe this’d be an eye opener for you. This is all about my messed up little mind that’s trying to figure out what’s life all about.
Honestly , I wasn’t in the best state of mind when I first began watching SATC (which is years after it was aired on TV) . But I was certain it would make a difference (good or bad, whatever that is) . As I began watching, I was totally taken aback or let’s say “moved” by all the four women and their lives. I felt better everytime I watched an SATC episode.Lively characters, superb acting. Infact, it barely seemed like they were acting. They were just living their characters (we can put aside the sex part for a while )
Carrie Bradshaw ( the lead character in the series, a New York newspaper columnist, a fashionista, a published author ) , what a lady ! She shops till she drops, meets her girlfriends, eats and chats at restaurants , dates all the great looking guys she bumps into and when she thinks she’s done for the day, she gets back home and puts in writing all the extraordinary stuff that happens in her ordinary life. And what’s more, she is super talented and staggeringly beautiful!
But personally, what strikes me the most about this lovely lady is the way she smokes. Y’know, the way she holds the cigarette in her hands and takes a puff. Ooooh !!! I really like that ’cause not many of us women are able to do that, you see.And anyway, Indian women are generally averse to smoking except for a few from the Z generation ( or the ‘Geez’ generation like I call it ’cause these guys really weird me out) and the ones who think smoking makes you look super cool.
Carrie knew that she, in spite of dating a hundred men and sleeping with ‘em, she was certain that she would fall for the one man who could bring stars down from the sky if she wanted. ( I understand the star thing is really filmy and Bollywoodish but I’m sorry I can’t think of anything more appropriate right now) . She might have screwed up her relation with this man ( which she actually did a lot of times), but she ultimately believed in herself and in the power of love , which is a very important thing for a woman to do when she thinks she is in love and which is also, not a very easy job. Oh that scene, wherein she urges Mr.BIG, “ Just tell me, I’m the one”
Oh, that takes my breath away ! Makes me want to walk up to her and tell her “You’re simply amazing , Miss Carrie Bradshaw, you deserved BIG. Way to go ! ”
Carrie eventually becomes a writer, gets her books published and sold and in turn , makes a lot of money. She actually lives an achiever’s life if you subtract the downs from it.
Now talking of the other three ladies, each one of ‘em wonderful and perfect in her own way, I don’t reckon I could describe them any better than Carrie did in her books. But yes, I shall definitely make a mention of them someday.
Now, as you can see, if I can be blown away so easily by a mere character from a TV show and actually take time and write about it, I may as well, try to live that character’s life for real. But the big question is, given that I live in India, can I really do it ? Can I be Carrie Bradshaw for real ? Do you reckon it’s possible ??? Can I have a life like that ? Alright, Imagine I have a good job, I earn enough to spend my money on things I am not actually in need of. But does it mean I can shop like a shopaholic, hang out with a bunch of friends to discuss our sex lives at public places and date a new guy every single day ??? Or these are things that just happen in fiction and do not really happen in our actual lives ??? Or we can just put it this way that is it only the riches and all the good luck you’re born with that define your ability to live a good life? What is a good life anyway? Health and happiness? And where do you reckon your happiness lies in? Now coming back to my story, why do I wanna become a Carrie Bradshaw or say someone like her for that matter? Because I see they’re living one helluva life enjoying themselves to bits and pieces?? Because I believe that’s what is called being happy in life?
Just yesterday on Facebook, I posted a picture from SATC on a friend’s wall that says “ Girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just to have fun with”. Well, no wonder, I believed in it.And hence the post on my friend’s wall. But then she replied “will we ever reach there ?” I had no idea what she meant by that question to which I replied “yes, we have already reached there cos nothing can beat our friendship, nothing at all” but if she was referring to living a luxurious life like the girls from SATC, then my question is “do we really wanna reach there?” and even if we reach there, do you reckon we’d call ourselves contented and satisfied? Why do we crave a roomy car, a luxurious house , an enormous wardrobe and a bunch of people to hang out with? Even if we do, how much of it we do we really want in our everyday lives? When you have everything you want, don’t you reckon you’re going back to living a stereotypical life again ?
I remember attending a lecture where someone said happiness results from comparison. And perhaps I get that now. I wanna live a luxurious life like Carrie Bradshaw. And when I compare my life to that of Bradshaw’s, I feel like a loser. So what if I chuck this comparison and compare myself to someone who has a bigger fucked up life than me? And again, to what am I referring as fucked up ? So the whole thing boils down to this :
First, happiness is purely relative .
And secondly, you arbitrarily choose the standards of comparison.
Yet, I don’t want to come to any sort of conclusion right now because a lot of things seem to be running through my mind and I can certainly see a conflict going on between the life I’m living and the life I choose to live. Cos deep down in my heart, I still wanna be a Carrie Bradshaw someday and hang out with my girls so I could brag about it one day, put it in writing and make a book out of it . And I can’t never ever let this feeling go !
So, as I turn around and take a look at my dreamworld again, pop goes my heart.
And I ask myself “will I ever reach there?? ”
– Bidisha Chetia